Just before starting this post, I got a call from my Love. Mid-conversation, he told me he had a question for me. It completely altered the direction I had planned for this post.
"How are you doing in your relationship with God?"
Two different things about this question touched my heart.
First, I didn't realize that such a simple question would stir up so many emotions. It's so easy to let things slip in this area. I don't understand why, but that is usually the first thing in my life to take a back burner. I realized that I've let myself get so caught up in planning our wedding and working, that I have ended up putting my prayer life and pursuing my personal relationship with Christ last.
Austin's deep love for God and his active pursuit of a Godly life has attracted me to him from day 1. He is never afraid to ask for accountability in areas he might be struggling in, and take responsibility to make changes for the better. He is so strong, and has so much courage to take on the role of being a leader for me, and I admire him and am so excited to lean on him as my husband.
When he asked me this, I realized that it's not very easy to open up and just start listing your flaws, especially when it comes to spiritual things. It's easy to be embarrassed or become ashamed. But when Austin asked me that question, it was probably the sweetest moment I can remember between the two of us. Austin has such a soft way of getting behind my walls and encouraging vulnurability. This is the second part of that question that grabbed my heart. He isn't afraid to reach deeper and pursue knowing me better. I never have to be afraid to show him my flaws and faults. He tenderly lifts me up and stands beside me when I crumble in my weaknesses.
There's no doubt about it, no one else has come closer to my heart and who I really am. He holds my heart in his hands, and he nurtures and cherishes it.
Austin, I look forward to being your wife, knowing that you know me better than any other soul on this earth. I look forward to seeing all the ways God continues to push us to better ourselves together. But most importantly, I look forward to allowing God to lead us into the next chapter of our life together and seeing where that chapter takes us.